Why would anyone reject a good idea
Like any good Effai.me article, I’m going to call out of my friend publicly and then explain why he’s wrong. In this case, this honour…
Like any good Effai.me article, I’m going to call out of my friend publicly and then explain why he’s wrong. In this case, this honour falls on my good friend Nick. Nick is a great guy. He is super smart. He is always looking to grow as an individual. Most importantly, he is open minded. We also happen to share a lot of interest in the world of personal finance, minimalism and happiness.
Nick and I decided to grab a bite at a wonderful Mexican establishment in the city. We sat down, ordered our drinks and chatted about what we’ve been up to recently. Turns out, he’s been reading Mr. Money Mustache’s blog for the last couple of weeks and really likes it. He’s just got one concern. Apparently, “Mr. Money Mustache (Pete) is too extreme”.
Specifically, he was bothered by the idea that Pete hasn’t spent any money on clothing in an entire year (at least according to his budget). Pete’s choices of clothing revolved around free event t-shirts and some fashion advice from Costco. This did not resonate well with Nick. His look is much more sophisticated. Therefore; that idea of spending less on clothing was outright rejected.
I tried to reason with him. I told him that spending more on clothing won’t necessarily make him any happier (the happiness argument); that we tend to have piles of clothes we don’t know what to do with (the minimalism argument); that it’s a depreciating good we waste our money on but adds very little value (the money argument) and so on. Nothing worked. I just wasn’t getting through to him.
That left me wondering. How could a perfectly rational person not realize that not spending thousands of dollars a year on clothing is a perfectly legitimate way of living?
Of course, this article is not about a particular incident but an illustration of a much more common phenomena. It’s the phenomena of being presented with a perfectly valid argument for a great idea but failing to accept the (implied) conclusion. In other words, a great idea is rejected due to errors in judgment. So, after some deeper contemplation and inner examination I realized there are three distinct reasons someone could reject an idea.
The idea is too novice. You have probably experienced this before. Someone is giving you advice on a topic you are far more familiar with. The idea is rudimentary, which you’ve considered many times before and dismissed for good reasons. For example, if you’ve just learned the difference between a traditional and Roth 401k, don’t bother telling me about all the benefits of Roth. I’ve already considered them and chose to go with the traditional route.
It is not because your idea is bad or assumptions are wrong. In fact, it’s great that you took the time to learn the difference (most people don’t). It’s because I’ve done plenty of research on the topic and I’m comfortable with the concept. Roth is not a bad option. However, in many cases, the traditional route can be more advantageous. It’s a conscious decision.
The best part is that you know perfectly well when this is your reason for rejecting someone’s idea. You know it because you see the conclusion coming from a mile away. This is the best place to be since there is practically no risk that you are making a mistake. It is not a judgment error.
“Limiting beliefs” are stopping me from adopting this idea. I’ll be honest. I borrowed this phrase from Ramit Sethi but the idea stands! This is actually a very deep concept that requires it’s own article. However, for the sake of clarity I will summarize it as follows:
It is the silent beliefs carried with you that dictate your actions. These beliefs tell you what you can’t do.
It’s a very powerful concept and I encourage everyone to explore it further (or wait for a follow up article). To further illustrate this, imagine being overweight your entire life. Obtaining a muscular physique is likely out of the realm of possibilities; mostly because you don’t believe you can achieve it. The number of excuses can be endless. You can blame it on your genes; or your parents; or your hungry BFF. The common theme here is that you believe it’s out of your control. Therefore; a limiting belief and an a likely error in judgment.
The idea conflicts with my life choices. When this happens, you must toy with the possibility that there was an error in your perception of the world; possibly your entire adult life; and at the risk of facing some serious cognitive dissonance. A second option is to find any and every possible reason to explain why that particular idea cannot work for you in your particular circumstances. The second option is the road most often taken.
For instance, imagine we are talking about transportation and I am trying to convince you that you don’t need a car. I’ll tell you about all the wonderful environmental benefits of not owning a car; the cash you’ll save; the exercise you’ll get; the longer life you’ll enjoy. I’ll even present you with alternative modes of transportation you can use such as a bike or bus. I’ll even throw in the time you’ll free up to read just like you always wanted so you could be the person you always thought you should be.
What will your reaction be? If you’re considering this idea, You have two choices. Either you must admit to yourself that maybe you’re not that savvy, discerning, environmentally friendly consumer you’ve always thought you were. You must also admit that since you’ve started working, your commute was irrational. Alternatively, you can come up with every reason why that can’t possibly work for you. The bus is irregular and unreliable. The bike can get a flat and you don’t know how to fix it. You can’t be late to work and your Uber driver can get lost in your neighbourhood. Thus; you justify the status quo instead of facing the hard truth.
Keep in mind that it is distinctly different from a limiting belief. You are not rejecting the idea because of some “invisible script” running your life. You are rejecting the idea because its conclusion is too hard to bear.
What’s interesting about this error in judgement is how easy it is to identify it. All you have to do is look at your immediate reaction. Are you looking for a list of excuses as to why this won’t work for you? Is someone challenging your assumption and it’s making you uncomfortable? Welcome my friend. You’re experiencing cognitive dissonance and you might want to reconsider your stance.
I have definitely used all three reasons when rejecting great ideas. Now that I’ve identified them, I hope it will be easier for me (and you) to notice them and make better decisions.
If you’re wondering, I think my friend Nick was experiencing a conflict with his life choices. I’m sure he knows that spending thousands on clothing is not necessarily in his best interest. He also knows that money would be better spent buying an index fund. However, to admit that, he would also need to admit that he wasted thousands of dollars in the last 10 years. That would contradict his view of himself as a savvy consumer. Hence, it’s easier to argue that refraining from spending thousands on clothes is extreme. Of course, this is assuming that what Mr. Money Mustache does is a good idea.
addendum
Read the Tohidian for Nick’s rebuttal.